I should probably say that I am on anti depressants, Yesterday I did not take it. I was not feeling myself and felt out of it completely. I was still trying to be responsible but the moments when I was alone I was completely out of it. I wrote this after meeting with a specialist and after a nap. Disclaimer: I do have people around it is just how I am feeling at times. beware I wrote down feels.. I just want to say that I "MIGHT" take a little time off from social media. I wanted to be vocal about the reason why. As I have mentioned in the past. I struggle from both anxiety & depression. I have felt that I had control of my depression for the past 2 years. I have not had a panic/ anxiety attack in years. Last night I had another one it wasn't as bad as they had been in the past. After meeting up with a doctor today I was told I had a depression relapse. Many of you are probably asking what that is. What my understanding of it is. That the little voice in my head came back. O mean its always been there but it actually affected me more than usual. Its been messing with my sleeping, eating habits, day to day responsibilities, Self care, hygiene, its even made some physical issues worse. My mind is not where it needs to be. I feel weird, numb, among other things. Just know I am doing my very best. It may not seem like it and I will probably bash myself all the time but I am doing my best at the moment. I am seeking help and I am trying to do my best. I have been trying to talk to people, loved ones. I feel like no one cares or wants to spend time with me. I dont speak to many people as it is. I have been trying to avoid the relapse. It's difficult when the voice in your head always seems to be right. Its not fun. Its tiring and sometimes i just want to lay down and space out. Many times i want to cry but I have to suck it up. Last night I cried and i knew that i had to seek help for my child. He needs me. He is all I have. I am writing this from both weakness and strength to remind myself that I can do this. That I am strong enough. To remind you all that you too are stronger. My question is do you ever feel like this? If you suffer with either what do you do to cope?
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